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MSAUBREY

Articles Posted: 31  Links Seeded: 11
Member Since: 7/2010  Last Seen: 5/16/2012

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More interesting randomness from the 'Brutally Honest B*tch'...

Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:31 AM EDT
not-news, cars, glasses, rants, minvan
By MsAubrey
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Well, I'll start off with the fact that I hate wearing glasses and I just ended up spending over $700 on 2 pair. (there goes my new pistol) My eyes have gotten worse just about every 2yrs from the time I was 11 and I'm 32 now. And of course because I work in a shop and have children, I have coatings on my lenses that many people don't need... The lenses in my regular glasses cost over $200 alone! The sunglasses were the cheap pair!!! That's just a bunch of crap! Besides being blind as a bat, being a woman, necessities cost WAY too much!!!! My husband... 8.5yrs my senior... Does he have to wear glasses? NO! Does my dad need glasses? Only reading glasses and he complains about that!!!! My mom... She wears contacts/glasses, but she can still see past her nose without them. She could function pretty well without them. I gave her my prescription sunglasses from when I was 16 and they work perfectly for her, but she says, 'They're a little strong, but they'll work for the short time I'd have to wear them.' CRAP I SAY!!! I'm SO hoping my kids don't need them! I can't afford for my kids AND myself wearing glasses! I think that maybe next year, instead of working on the house some more, we'll be using some of our tax return or profit sharing (if there is any) for me to get Lasik.

On to the next rant....................

Maybe minivan drivers can help me wrap my mechanical mind around the reason you'd chose such an obnoxious vehicle! They don't get great gas mileage. They look like an egg w/a flat behind. They're horribly uncomfortable to drive. Expensive to purchase (unless you get something used and abused). Expensive to repair (I COMPLETELY KNOW WHY!!!). You can't get them in 4x4 (and most don't come with AWD). Sure they seat 6-8 people, but so do many crossovers and SUV's. I've driven MANY vehicles. Everything from an Escort to a Hummer H1 and Military HMMWV's... Hell... I've driven a semi with air brakes and everything in between. Some fast, some slow, some capable of doing and going wherever you want, some even right hand drive 5 speed sticks.... I just CANNOT comprehend how a minivan is superior to a CUV or SUV. For the record, I currently own a Saturn Vue, a 79 Firebird, and an F250 V10 4x4 Quad Cab (that seats 6). Of course the Saturn is the daily driver... Better on gas.

Anywho... If you're wondering where this rant about minivans is coming from... Here's the story. My mother called me over this past weekend and told me that she had a front tire that was flat and had asked me if I could come and swap it out for the spare. I, thinking that it would be pretty easy (at least easier than a 137lb HMMWV tire), said 'Sure! Be there in a few.' Let me tell you....... WORST VEHICLE EVER TO SWAP TIRE FOR SPARE!!!! She owns a Caravan with stow n go seating. Do you know where they put the spare??? Unless you've had to get to one on this vehicle, you would NEVER guess. Not in the normal places... Under a panel in the back, under the vehicle in the back... Those would be the normal places... NOOOOOOOOOO... Can't do that with a giant fuel tank (because the gas mileage sucks) and stow n go seating..... It was under the vehicle, but up underneath the front seats!!!! With a flat FRONT tire, you CANNOT get to the spare until the vehicle is jacked up completely with the stupid little scissor jack and have to slide under the vehicle AFTER you've found the little 'key' to spin the cable down in between the two front seats UNDER the console. For those of you that know... How dangerous is it to slide under a vehicle that's sitting on a crappy scissor jack (because that is the only thing that will fit under that van with a flat)? Anyone??? And for those men out there that are barrel chested or a bit on the heavy side.... Good friggen luck with that!!!!!!! I'm only 5'0 and 130lbs. I'm not a large person. It was a pain in the arse!!!!! THEN.... You have to pinch this lever UNDER the spare and plastic 'dish' holding the spare, to release the cable to get the spare out. So, lift the spare, while pinching the lever, not being able to breathe because half of your chest is under the van... Then you get to change the tire out!!! YAY! That is an 'easy' task on a minivan..... Change plugs anyone? Serpentine belt?

Maybe you can give me some insight as to what makes this horrible vehicle superior to anything else.

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  • Public Discussion (12)
MsAubrey

Rants about glasses and minivans... Enjoy! Please comment. : )

  • 1 vote
Reply#1 - Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:32 AM EDT
boomer 54

A woman did not design the mini-van.

  • 1 vote
Reply#2 - Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:52 AM EDT
MsAubrey

Didn't say a woman did. A man designed it that has never worked on a vehicle... Not even to do an oil change... Designed it with the intention on gearing it toward the independant woman. I was asking the women that decided to buy one of those monstrosities why a minivan over a CUV or SUV.

    #2.1 - Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:46 PM EDT
    boomer 54

    Y'know, I didn't put on sarcasm tag--sorry. Your point is my point. ;-)

    • 2 votes
    #2.2 - Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:53 PM EDT
    MsAubrey

    Ok. : )

    Sorry. I get pummeled everytime I bash a minivan. It's become a defense mechanism. : )

    • 1 vote
    #2.3 - Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:55 PM EDT
    Reply
    MsAubrey

    Unfortunately, I'm finding that very few people... men or women work on their own vehicles anymore. Not many even seem to know anything other than where to put the washer solvent (sometimes not even that) and where to put the gas.

      Reply#3 - Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:56 PM EDT
      bosehhDeleted
      MsAubrey

      : (

      Guess no one liked this randomness.

      • 1 vote
      Reply#5 - Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:55 AM EDT
      Kearney Outlaw

      *I* did. Just took me awhile.

      Glasses... We missed it by a generation or two. Our grandchildren--or great-grandchildren will probably never know what the hell "glasses" are apart from seeing them in the historical record. I hate buying them because there always seems to be some new "coating" or whatever that I "just can't do without." It's like the undercoating gimmick with a new car.

      Plus, when I ride, I'm either squinting or (more often) wearing my contacts because THEN I can wear sunglasses.

      Minivans... My buddy got divorced a few years back. Well, ten. Due to some unforeseen financial wrangling, she ended up with the new care and he ended up with the minivan. Now, usually divorce is not a subject for humor--especially for the parties concerned. But I laughed my ass off at him driving that minivan around. He flat drove that thing into the ground. Know what he drives now? The car SHE got in the divorce. She bought a new one and he got that one for a song. (Yeah, a song and dance!)

      Good article, Ms Aubrey. See ya 'round!

      • 1 vote
      #5.1 - Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:15 PM EDT
      joeiraqi

      I too am late to the party.

      Glasses--I hate how much they cost. I wish eyes worked better and longer.

      Minivans--some are OK. They aren't easy to work on, but our Odyssey is really nice for oil changes. Also, the sliding doors are great for getting kids in and out. I have done the back seat thing with children climbing over seats to get in the back where they need help buckling and parental access to assist is nearly impossible. Also, our Odyssey beats a Suburban or even the Pilot for gas mileage. I would like something better, but for hauling the family, it works well for the price we paid (used and not too abused).

      • 2 votes
      #5.2 - Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:06 PM EDT
      Reply
      bore-head007

      MsAubrey,

      Never needed glasses except for reading, and yes, they are a pain.

      I, for some reason, am attracted to women that wear them. My always sensational Carol wears them, and it's almost like a veil of mystery.

      She, like you, would prefer to not need them. Lazer surgery seems kinda scarey, and I don't know if it woud be a worthy pursuit.

      A mini van tale.

      A bunch of buddy's and I were sitting in an ice shanty, talking about a Steel head trip to upstate NY. One of the guys says, "I'll get my ole lady's conversion van for the trip"!

      Fast forward to departure. We are waiting for the van to show up, and of course, hes late. There are five of us, with all the gear, bags, you name it.

      Dwayne, a friend says, "Here he comes!"

      I couldn't believe it when I saw it.

      A Christa minivan.

      We loaded up, squeezed in and bottomed out, all the way to Pulaski. What a trip!

      The tounge hung out the radiator grill, comin', and going, but we made it!

      • 1 vote
      Reply#6 - Thu Apr 14, 2011 8:25 PM EDT
      Piletre

      MsAubrey, I would either get your mother a subscription to AAA, or talk her into getting one. It's cheap and OH, soooo very handy! I wouldn't be without it.

        Reply#7 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:02 AM EDT
        Circled Thrice

        Well, I'll start off with the fact that I hate wearing glasses and I just ended up spending over $700 on 2 pair. (there goes my new pistol)

        Classic... Well, if you're firing a weapon, it's probably best if you do it with your glasses on... depending on what you're aiming at.

        I'm with you on the whole mini-van thing. I've never gotten the appeal.

        • 1 vote
        Reply#8 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:40 AM EDT
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